7 Where could I go to escape
from your Spirit
or from your sight?
8 If I were to climb up
to the highest heavens,
you would be there.
If I were to dig down
to the world of the dead
you would also be there.
9 Suppose I had wings
like the dawning day
and flew across the ocean.
10 Even then your powerful arm
would guide and protect me.
11 Or suppose I said, “I’ll hide
in the dark until night comes
to cover me over.”
12 But you see in the dark
because daylight and dark
are all the same to you.
Reflection
I know I’ve written about this before… but immediately this scripture reminds me of how unworthy I feel like I am most of the time. I feel unworthy of the title “mother,” “wife,” “friend,” “sister,” “daughter,” and it tends to pile on when the days get shorter or I have a stretch of illness that renders me even less productive than usual. (Hooray for back to school with littles!)
I get sucked into this spiral because of anxiety and depression. I convince myself that I’m not worthy of any compliment, title, or honor. I know I’m not the only one. I know, especially as sunlight becomes a scarcity, it feels like I’m alone in this downward spiral. You might feel it too.
In these times I tend to hide. I tend to withdraw because I’ve convinced myself I don’t serve treats, or attention, or anything really. But guess who always finds me….
I am recovering from a cold right now, which offered justification to be a vegetable on the couch for a day and watch a few things that caught my eye, specifically a short animated film, “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse.” I’ve never read the book, I just saw the illustration and thought it might be a nice thing to watch and I was intrigued when I heard familiar voices. I’m at a point in my life, I’m not ashamed to admit… I was ugly crying more than once in this 34 minute film.
Profound wisdom tends to sneak up on you when you feel like you don’t deserve it.
We can try to hide under the blankets, we can try to distract ourselves with TV or social media, we can even throw ourselves into work to be so busy the internal monologue struggles to keep up with the to-do list (rather than self-deprecation). No matter where we go, we are seen. No matter how we try to hide, we will be found. No matter how dark things feel, a fire can still be lit.
There is no where we could go that God’s love could not wrap us in a warm embrace.
There is no wilderness we could wander that would escape His protective grace.
Even when we feel our lowest, in a place where there couldn’t possibly be grace, forgiveness, or love, God will find us.
by Ashley Bowler-Polhemus
For Pondering and Prayer
In what ways has God “found” you when you least expected it — perhaps through a person, a moment of beauty, or a quiet realization?
How does Psalm 139 challenge your ideas about worthiness and God’s presence in your everyday life?
What might it mean to let yourself be found rather than trying to prove your worth or hide your struggles?
How does it feel to be reminded that even in your lowest or most withdrawn moments, God still sees and loves you completely?
Prayer: Loving God, Thank You for never letting us slip beyond Your sight. When we feel unworthy, unseen, or lost in the shadows, remind us that even there—especially there—Your light finds us. Teach us to rest in Your presence instead of running from it, to trust that Your love is not earned but freely given. Wrap us in Your warmth when the days grow short and our hearts grow weary, and help us remember that no darkness is too deep for Your embrace. Amen.
