Psalm 39:12 (CEB)

Hear my prayer, Lord!
    Listen closely to my cry for help!
Please don’t ignore my tears!
    I’m just a foreigner—
        an immigrant staying with you,
        just like all my ancestors were.


Reflection

It was my first evening at the Taizé Monastery and I was very excited to participate in singing with people from across the world. Partway through every service, they have a long section of silence – typically about 10 minutes. I myself don’t do very well in silence. I get uncomfortable and self-conscious, so this was the part of the service that I wasn’t looking forward to. We had just finished singing “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom,” a song I find to be heart-wrenching in its premise of begging for God’s attention. Then the silence began. I was determined to make use of it instead of just letting my mind wander but I didn’t know what to say in my head so I just kept repeating those words:

Jesus, remember me. Jesus, remember me.

This went on for hour-long minutes.

Jesus, remember me. Jesus, remember me.

My skin prickled and I began sobbing uncontrollably.

Jesus, please I beg you! Remember me!                

Today’s verse comes from a Psalm where the writer is explaining how they have been trying to be so careful not to sin, not to make a single mistake, that they went silent. Verse 9 reads, “I am completely silent; I won’t open my mouth…” The Psalmist is writing their pain in silence, too afraid to speak, too afraid that the words they say will be incorrect. “Listen closely to my cry for help!” they write, as if their pain is not explicitly clear. It seems that the only outward expression of what they’re feeling are their tears: “Please don’t ignore my tears!” God knows our hearts far better than we ourselves do. Often times when we feel we’re not being heard, that maybe God’s ignoring us, that however we’re feeling is too difficult to put into words, find peace in knowing that God knows the words and the truth to how you feel, even when you don’t.

By Rachel Callender


For Pondering & Prayer

When did you last spend time with God in silence? What did you hear? What did you feel?

Prayer: Holy Lord. Remember us. Forgive us. Comfort us. Wash over us. Be with us. Hear us. Love us. Amen.