2 They shouldn’t speak disrespectfully about anyone, but they should be peaceful, kind, and show complete courtesy toward everyone. 3 We were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, and slaves to our desires and various pleasures too. We were spending our lives in evil behavior and jealousy. We were disgusting, and we hated other people. 4 But “when God our savior’s kindness and love appeared, 5 he saved us because of his mercy, not because of righteous things we had done. He did it through the washing of new birth and the renewing by the Holy Spirit, 6 which God poured out upon us generously through Jesus Christ our savior. 7 So, since we have been made righteous by his grace, we can inherit the hope for eternal life.” 8 This saying is reliable. And I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have come to believe in God might give careful attention to doing good. These things are good and useful for everyone.
9 Avoid stupid controversies, genealogies, and fights about the Law, because they are useless and worthless. 10 After a first and second warning, have nothing more to do with a person who causes conflict, 11 because you know that someone like this is twisted and sinful—so they condemn themselves.
Reflection
We have all encountered people who are simply difficult to deal with. Maybe they always seem to be in a bad mood, draining the energy out of every conversation. Or maybe they are the kind of person who loves to criticize from the sidelines—quick to point out what everyone else did wrong, but never willing to step forward and help or lead. Difficult people are a reality of life, and sometimes it feels easier to avoid them altogether than to keep engaging with them.
But is avoidance always what we are called to do? Or are we called to see the value in even the most challenging people—remembering that they, too, are created in the image of God—and to try, as much as possible, to live at peace with them? That is not easy work, and it is certainly not something we can do on our own.
Today’s passage gives us helpful guidance. Paul wrote this short, personal letter to Titus, whom he calls “my true child in a common faith.” Titus is leading a young church on the island of Crete, and it seems clear that he is dealing with conflict, criticism, and unruly behavior within the community. Paul’s words are meant to encourage Titus and to shape how believers relate to one another—especially when relationships are strained.
One of the key reminders in this passage is humility. Paul points out that we were once foolish, disobedient, and misled. Any one of us can be difficult at times. It is only because of God’s kindness and mercy—through the saving work of Jesus Christ and the renewing power of the Holy Spirit—that we are made new. Remembering this should soften how we treat others. We are called not to “speak disrespectfully about anyone,” but instead to be peaceful, kind, and courteous toward everyone. That kind of posture does not come naturally; it is something we must continually ask God to cultivate in us.
At the same time, this passage is honest about limits. Peace is a two-way street. Paul acknowledges that after sincere efforts, there may come a point when a person is continuing to stir up conflict, that maintaining peace may mean creating distance. Stepping back is not a failure of love; sometimes it is a necessary act of wisdom and self-preservation.
We are all God’s children, and we are called to pray for those we struggle with, to wish them peace, and to do everything within our power to live peaceably with them. But we are also invited to recognize when continued closeness only breeds harm, division, and maybe hatred. In those moments, the most faithful choice may be to entrust that person to God and take a step back—still praying, still hoping, but no longer engaging in constant conflict.
by Manny Estevez
For Pondering and Prayer
- How do you usually respond to difficult people—by extending peace or avoiding them?
- Is there a relationship you’ve tried to mend that continues to bring conflict? Is God inviting you to step back?
Prayer: Loving God, thank you for your mercy that renews us through Christ. Help us see the sacred worth in every person and make us people of peace. Give us grace to respond with kindness and wisdom to know when stepping back is the best way to keep the peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.
