“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as God forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Reflection
I always thought forgiveness came easily to me, until it didn’t.
Years ago, a close friend of mine completely ghosted me during one of the hardest seasons of my life. No explanation. No goodbye. Just silence. We’d shared everything since childhood: laughs over late-night takeout, tears during breakups, spontaneous road trips, and deep talks about purpose and faith. So when she disappeared, it felt like a betrayal I couldn’t name, but couldn’t ignore either.
At first, I told myself I didn’t care. That I was better off without someone who couldn’t even be honest with me. But over time, the unresolved hurt grew roots and bitterness settled in quietly, showing up in ways I didn’t expect. I became suspicious of other friends. I kept walls up. I even avoided places I knew we used to go together. I wasn’t just mad at her I was stuck on the friendship. I missed her but I was mad.
“Forgive as God forgave you.” Not when they apologize, not if they deserve it, but because I’ve already been forgiven.
Forgiveness isn’t saying what happened was okay. It’s choosing to let go of the weight it’s putting on your own heart. It’s recognizing that love is real, binding, transformative. It is choosing healing over holding a grudge. And sometimes, that love looks like quietly releasing someone without a dramatic ending or perfect closure. So I wrote her a letter. Not to send, but to release. I poured out my hurt, my confusion, and then chose to forgive her. Not because she earned it, but because I wanted to be free.
I ended the letter with, “I bless you and let you go.” It didn’t erase the past, but it softened something in me. It reminded me that I, too, have failed people. And yet I’ve been held in grace. That’s what Colossians is inviting us into: a life where love leads, even in the messy, complicated in-between.
by Ali Clark
For Pondering and Prayer
Is there someone you need to forgive? Someone who hurt you, left without closure, or didn’t meet your expectations? Take a few minutes to write them a letter (you don’t have to send it). Be honest. Be raw. And then choose to release them. Forgiveness is for your healing, not their approval.
Prayer: Creator, thank You for forgiving me freely, even when I didn’t deserve it. Help me to walk in that same grace with others. Show me the places in my heart still holding on to bitterness, and give me the courage to let go. Amen.
