29 Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding;
a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.
30 A sound mind makes for a robust body,
but runaway emotions corrode the bones.
31 You insult your Maker when you exploit the powerless;
when you’re kind to the poor, you honor God.
Reflection
For a long time, I have been jealous of, fascinated by, and grateful for my husband’s cool calm collectiveness. His temper is on an even keel and mine …is not. I blame it on my red hair jokingly, but I am not the best at filtering and holding back my emotions. It’s something I’ve realized has been a problem since high school and I’ve tried really hard to improve this about myself.
I know I’ve gotten a lot better about it because of something that happened recently. In short, I reconnected with an old friend on Facebook, just a simple message exchange, “Hey, hope things are good.” “Yeah, you too.”
A bit later she sent another message that I saw but got distracted from answering right away and forgot about (as happens very often).
Over a month later, I woke up to a message from her, “Guess, we’re not friends anymore. KAY BYEEEE” and my emotions flared up. Anger because wow, rude. Anxiety because I’m not good enough, I failed someone! OOF! Not a good way to start my morning. I wanted to respond immediately, driven by these emotions, but little girls needed to start their day and this just needed to wait. Thank goodness.
I needed that time to cool off and realize, this person needed grace. She’s clearly going through something that I’m not aware of, and I just happen to be along the path of the storm.
I couldn’t ignore the message for my own sanity, so I prioritized responding that morning. Instead of lashing back with anger and hurt, I responded with grace, for her and myself.
It was along the lines of, “Sorry, I messed up, I do that frequently. I never want to hurt or offend anyone, especially friends. I understand if you feel the need to step back from this friendship since I’m not able to be more active. I hope that’s not the case though, and we can allow some grace in our busy lives.”
Honestly, that felt really good, and her response was quick with an apology for lashing out and gratitude that we could maintain a friendship. But what does this have to do with courage?
I feel like especially today, if we don’t have an immediate rebuttal for something it’s seen as weakness. Internet trolls purposely post things to rile up people and start arguments, and it’s all a bit foolish, but why does it work over and again? I think it somehow feels like if we don’t respond immediately or don’t fight back in a strong way, we feel lesser in some way. Similar to what Pastor Joe discussed in a recent sermon, it takes courage to be last. It takes courage to let someone else say something or think something about you, and for you not to respond. It takes courage to step back and create space; Hopefully, understanding can take root.
by Ashley Bowler
For Pondering and Prayer
When has impulse taken a victory in your life and caused a stupid mistake? Is it something that is still bothering you? When has understanding taken a victory in your life by creating space? Is there something in your life going on or someone in your life that could benefit from understanding over anger?
Prayer: Dear Lord,
Grant us the presence of heart and mind to create space for understanding. Hold our hand and give us the courage to remain cool, calm, and collected when everything around us feels chaotic. Help us to realize that Your presence, the space You create, is space for understanding and healing.
In Your name, Amen.
