8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
Reflection
This is the first instance of human shame recorded in the Bible. Up to this point, the humans’ relationship with God (and with each other) has been carefree and close. God walks in the garden, and the implication is that Adam and Eve come to walk alongside. But after the incident with the fruit from the forbidden tree, things change. The man and woman recognize their nakedness and are ashamed. They hear God walking and run away to hide.
Shame creates separation in relationships. For those who wrestle with feelings of shame in their lives, this will be familiar. Shame makes us feel different than others – unworthy and wholly inadequate. At extremes, it becomes easier to avoid others than to engage, because we worry about how we are being perceived. We constantly fear saying or doing the wrong thing. Even more than that, we are troubled by this profound sense that we ARE the wrong thing.
Feelings of shame are whipped up by a very strong inner monologue – actually it’s more accurate to say an inner harangue – of relentless cruelty toward ourselves. I’m sure Adam’s thoughts were full of self-criticism and self-blame as God called out to him. “Why are you so stupid, Adam?” We say horrible things to ourselves we would never say to others.
Note that God’s response to Adam isn’t immediately accusatory – instead it’s curious. When God asks, “Who told you that you were naked?” the implication is, “We’re the only ones here, and I sure didn’t tell you that.” Because God didn’t. (Also, it’s really cute that Adam thinks that by just disappearing for a while, God won’t figure out what he did. Bless his heart!)
The voice of shame tells us we need to hide, to cover up, to run away. But God keeps calling us back into relationship. The question “Where are you?” is not about Adam’s geographic location (God already knows!) Instead, it’s a question about relationship: “How will you respond now?”
God calls us out of the places where we go to hide, not to shame us, but to bring us into the light where we can deal with things openly and honestly. All of us make mistakes. The question isn’t, “Why did you mess up?” but instead, “Who said you had to be perfect to be loved?”
When we let go of the lies that shame has us telling ourselves and listen instead for the truth in God’s gentle voice, we begin to discover the freedom Adam and Eve once knew. We can walk unafraid, fully seen, imperfect and yet still beloved.
by Joe Monahan
For Pondering and Prayer
When you hear the voice of shame in your head – are you able to interrupt and argue with it? If not, maybe try that next time. Remind yourself that your inner voice will sometimes lie to you. God’s voice will never lie to you. Listen to God’s voice telling you that you are deeply and truly loved, and that you are always worthy.
Prayer: Loving God, you seek us out even when we try to hide, and you call to us not in anger, but in mercy and grace. Quiet the voices of shame that accuse and diminish us, and let us hear your voice of truth — the one that reminds us we are your beloved. Help us walk always in the light of your presence, unashamed and unafraid. Amen.
