Fri April 12-Doubts Gone Wild

John 20:26-29(CEB)

26 After eight days his disciples were again in a house and Thomas was with them. Even though the doors were locked, Jesus entered and stood among them. He said, “Peace be with you.” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here. Look at my hands. Put your hand into my side. No more disbelief. Believe!”

28 Thomas responded to Jesus, “My Lord and my God!”

29 Jesus replied, “Do you believe because you see me? Happy are those who don’t see and yet believe.”


In reading and rereading this most famous story about the disciple, Thomas, I always feel for him. Maybe you do too. Perhaps it is not just because of looking for physical facts, as we often portray Thomas. Perhaps it was his panic for the (potential) loss of a loved one.

In the days of Jesus’ earthly life, things had to feel unbelievably strange. Jesus had said that he would die. What are you talking about, my God? On their behalf, we want to say, “No.” The disciples’ world was just turned upside down and now their Savior was here! Wait, what? Maybe it was all too incredible to believe.

I am reminded of one night that Bill did not come home for hours and had been delayed far too long. He was actually between jobs and had started driving a truck at night for a friend’s local delivery company. Bill would leave at dinner time, drive until two a.m. as the kids and I slept, and somewhere in the middle of the night crawl into bed beside me. Accept that now it was five o’clock a.m., and I had awakened with a start. He was delayed two hours and now I had no idea where he could have been. By 5:30am, I was panicking and crying, calling other loved ones and the state police, as Bill walked in: Wait, what, where were you? Why didn’t you let me know? (Bill’s truck had broken down and he didn’t want to call and wake me.)

I mean no disrespect in the comparison to our earthly relationships but for me, Thomas’ reactions remind me of the moment that our worry for a loved one runs wild. There are those times when we refuse to believe that things could ever be just as they are. I’ve seen this happen for both good and bad reasons. Thomas saw this in Jesus, yet this was the impossibility that only our God could overcome.

Good and bad, we all question and we all doubt, sometimes even after hearing directly from Our Lord. In Thomas’ case, perhaps he wanted to believe, but was afraid to believe that something could go right after things had gone so very terribly wrong. Thomas didn’t want to get his hopes up. The worst thing imaginable had just happened, Jesus was dead, or so Thomas thought.

by Barbara Carlson

for Pondering & Prayer

What thing or moment in your life leaves/left you amazed, dazed and confused? How does your life feel in disbelief?How do worries for a loved one relate to the doubts that you share with our Lord? How does our faith in God support you in these incredible times of doubt?

Prayer: Dear Jesus, Thank you for loving me even when I doubt. Your trust in me keeps me feeling safe and secure. Amen.

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