3 Whenever I’m afraid,
I put my trust in you—
4 in God, whose word I praise.
I trust in God; I won’t be afraid.
What can mere flesh do to me?
Reflection
Through the course of history, there have been ongoing wars, natural disasters, financial collapses, diseases, and the like to be afraid of. Day to day we can be afraid of driving in a crowded area or in a neighborhood that we are not familiar with. There are any number of things for us to be afraid of – we all have some sort of phobia I would guess. Sometimes we feel like Charlie Brown in “A Charlie Brown Christmas” when he is feeling depressed and goes to Lucy for help. She tells him she can label his fear if she can find out what he’s afraid of. She lists some things, and he is not really clear until she brings up pantophobia which is the fear of everything, and then he is sure without a doubt that that is it! Some days do we feel like that?
Everything we hear or see makes us want to hide from the world because it all seems scary. While I was writing this, I got an alert on my phone that Blue Origin was blasting off with an all-female crew. That is scary to me! I am claustrophobic, I get motion sick when I drive sometimes – I would not make a good astronaut! This is such a wild step away from Holy Week in some ways, but in others, the disciples were involved in something they may never have imagined.
When I looked up different commentaries about what the disciples did after Jesus was crucified, most seem to say that they hunkered down in the city of Jerusalem trying to stay away from any Roman officials. They were afraid of being arrested as part of the group that was with Jesus as insurrectionists if you will – those that spoke of the kingdom of God and not the Roman empire. Some commentaries commented about them trying to get out of town and returning to Galilee, but that does not seem to make sense because they wouldn’t travel on the Sabbath, and it would be easier to hide in the city.
We also read the stories that Jesus revealed himself to the disciples except Thomas in a room, so we assume they stayed together. We can only imagine what must have been going through their minds though. Was everything Jesus told them a lie? He had saved others and had called Lazarus back from the tomb, but now Jesus was in a tomb. Was that the end? They had followed Jesus for 3 years, trusting that he would bring about a new world order for the Jews, but now what? Could they go back to doing what they had done before?
The men who fished could probably do that with their families, but what about Matthew? He couldn’t just go back to being a tax collector – especially for the government he spoke out against with Jesus. They had no real homes for 3 years; how would they start over? Plus, they were just really sad. They had lost someone that they loved. A friend who was family to them. They had been through so much together. Jesus had told them this day would come, but I’m sure it was hard to wrap their heads around. So many emotions tied up. I’m sure they were planning together and separately about the way to go forward. Like any family who has a loss, they were probably disagreeing about what should happen next but also telling all of the stories about what happened before. It must have been a heartbreaking, scary time for them.
Two thousand years later, we know what happened, but we can still empathize with the disciples – people who followed Jesus and felt his loss profoundly and were anxious about how to proceed.
by Janet Waryck
For Pondering and Prayer
When you think about a loss in your life – of a loved one, a job, a home – did you feel the fear of “what happens next?” as well as the sadness? What did you do about it? Sometimes we hunker down with those we love, sometimes we want to be alone, sometimes we cry out to the Lord. There are no “right” ways to deal with loss. We all need to go through the process – however that looks. Fear is part of it. We sometimes, like Lucy would say, need to name it so that it doesn’t have control over us. It can be really hard to put into perspective, but of course going to the Lord and our other support systems is always a good place to start.
Prayer: God of power, grant us the strength to face our fear, maybe not to do something like going to space just to “get over it,” but to acknowledge that we are afraid, because sometimes naming it gives it less power. Help us to be patient with ourselves as we process our fear and pain. Help us to always turn to you first. Thank you, Jesus, for all you have done for us, Amen.
May we appreciate what Jesus and those around him went through on these days of bleakness, and may we celebrate the Risen Lord on Easter Sunday! Worship with us at 6:30, 9:00, or 10:30 am on Easter! 9:00 & 10:30 will be live-streamed on Facebook.
