Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ.
Reflection
It is overwhelming to think about how much forgiveness God has given to humankind! Think about our day to day – how many times do we screw up, so we need forgiveness or how many times do we need to forgive those in our lives? Let’s just think about yesterday – who did you forgive and who needed to grant you forgiveness? Every day there is one or many times that we need to forgive or need to be forgiven – small slights or giant mistakes. Sometimes we are so engaged in our own thoughts that we fail to do something as easy as hold a door for someone behind us. We ask for forgiveness – that is easy for us and generally easy for those we didn’t help. We’ve all been there. Sometimes the thing we are others do is more difficult to forgive, but we are called to do it. Some days it is our own self that we need to forgive – we are trying to eat healthier, and we just have a hard time doing that. It could be anything. Do we forgive ourselves as easily as we forgive others?
As Joe spoke about on Sunday, sometimes we need to have the courage to speak up on behalf of our neighbors, but do we have the courage to speak up for ourselves? When I left my local church, I wanted to do so publicly so that people knew that I was speaking up for my LGBTQIA+ family members and friends. I was hurt by some responses to me. I felt I could still participate in mission activities, but when I tried, I felt I was treated differently by several people.
Have I forgiven those people? I am not sure, really – I hope so, but I don’t want to participate with those people in activities and I can’t watch their services. But I would certainly help any of those people if they needed it. I think it is best for me to set those boundaries. Otherwise, I feel angry about those interactions. I think that is important in all of our lives. We can forgive others who have done things to us, and we can be kind and compassionate as we read in our text, but that does not mean that we should let people take advantage of us. That does not mean that we should continue to put ourselves in a situation where people can hurt us again and again.
We often read about people who grow up in abusive situations and then choose to have a partner that is abusive. Why is that? Sometimes, we gravitate toward things we know and things we are comfortable with, even if it is not good for us. We can forgive those people that have hurt us, and we should. We can even help those people, but we should not continue to allow them to hurt us and tear us down. It takes courage to say “I deserve better, and I am setting some boundaries.”
It may mean that we end up losing some of those relationships, but Jesus knew what it was like to be abandoned by his friends and followers. He knows that pain. He can help give us the courage we need to move to a place of new understanding. This may be the narrow path that Joe talked about – the path to becoming stronger in our relationship with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and to be courageous enough to say, “I matter.” I will forgive, but I will keep myself safe.
by Janet Waryck
For Pondering and Prayer
Let’s think about who and how we forgive. Are there people that we haven’t forgiven and need to? Are there people that we feel that we have forgiven but need to back away from a bit to help with our own healing so that we may be better able to follow Christ in the way we should?
Prayer: God of forgiveness, help us to remember what Jesus did for us and that you continue to forgive us daily. Give us wisdom and courage to forgive and to also put ourselves first at times when it matters to our wellbeing – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Amen.